In my leisure time, there are three favorite things that I like to do to not feeling bored. The first thing is singing. By singing my favorite songs, I can express my feeling and feel relieve which make me enjoy my leisure time. One of my favorite song to sing is "-stars" by Nadin Amizah. Watching movies or TV series is the second thing that I like to do. I like to watch romance and comedy genre of movie. other than that, I like to watch action and mystery genre of TV series. By watching movies or TV series, I can learn about many good values which I could practice in my daily life. And the last thing I like to do is dancing. I usually dance by copying the choreography from korean girl or boy band and from international choreographer. One of my favorite choreographer is Matt Stevanina. So by singing, watching movies or TV series, and dancing, I can enjoy my leisure time and not feeling bored.
woow, Your essay is very good because the supporting ideas are long and clear, but maybe you need to add more to the conclusion
ReplyDeleteHey, Muti. I really appreciate about your suggestion. I will add more words to my conclusion sentences as soon as I can. Thank you for visiting my blog!
Deleteyour story is very good, and i like to sing also!
ReplyDeletei think you can add one or two more sentences in the supporting ideas :)
Hello, Indah. it is really nice to read to your kind comment. I will add more supporting idea regarding to my main topic. Thank you for visiting my post!
DeleteHello, i am so glad after i read your essay. For more better that i want to you add the supporting ideas in clearly. But overall is amazing sist, thank you
ReplyDeleteHolla, Wildan. It is really nice to read to your kind comment. I will add more supporting idea regarding to my main topic. Thank you for visiting my post!
DeleteOver all your essay is good and interesting, but I want to add some more in song, because you did not tell clearly about what kind of song that you like to sing, so actually it is about the supporting ideas about sing, you colan improve it. Keep writing, Sita!
ReplyDeletei like to dance too heheh. for me, this conclusion is too short. to make it better, you can add more heheh
ReplyDeleteI like to watching a movie too. Overall your essay is good. But to make more better, you can explain or add some supporting idea again. And add 1/2 sentences conclussion again
ReplyDeleteFighting, !!
your story is good. but its better if you add more in conclusion. keep fighting!!
ReplyDeletewow!! overall your essay is good and I like to watching a movie too hehehee. butttttt, its more better if you add more in conclusion. good job sita!!
ReplyDeleteYour story is good but if you add more something it will be perfect
ReplyDeletewow... I do like watching tv and movies, but maybe it will be great if you explain more... great job
ReplyDeleteIt's good but i think you can make more longer with make more supporting sentences but overall it's perfect
ReplyDeleteYou have amazing activities! I hope I can dancing also.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph structure is really good. You can show major supporting and minor supporting sentence clearly!
interesting thing to do, maybe give more information for the movie. great job
ReplyDeleteI found your essay is quite interesting, however it is too short, maybe for every supporting points you can explain more so readers could understand more about your favorite things to do, however keep it up! Nice work! :)
ReplyDeleteAha! It's a nice activities! You must have a good voice. I think it would be better if you put more sentences in the conclusion to make it more informative.
ReplyDeleteOverall good, but your conclusion seems so simple, I suggest to add some sentence on it ^^
ReplyDeleteUr writting is good story, you can convey and easily understand. But in conclusion you can add more to make it clear. Good job! ❣️
ReplyDeleteWoowww ur favorite things is so good and ur writing is so amazing,i think you should watch money heist from netflixx
ReplyDeletewah is very interesting, but maybe you can explain in more detail about the type of song you usually sing, maybe it can help me in the future when i have a lot of time hehehe
ReplyDeletefinal revision:
ReplyDeleteIn my leisure time, there are three favorite things that I like to do to get rid of boredom. The first thing is singing. I really like to sing to acoustic song. I usually sing any acoustic songs from my favorite playlist which contain of John Mayer, Ed Sheeran, Nadin Amizah, and Adhitya Sofyan songs. By singing my favorite songs, I can express my feeling and feel relieve which made me enjoy my leisure time. One of my favorite song to sing is "-stars" by Nadin Amizah. Watching movies or TV series is the second thing that I like to do. I love to watch romance and comedy genre of movie. "The Notebook" is one of my favorite movie. Other than that, I really like to watch action and mystery genre of TV series. I really like "Lucifer" TV series, which the 4th season of it will be taken by Netflix, on my precious laptop. By watching movies or TV series, I can learn about many good values which I could practice in my daily life. The last thing I love to do is dancing. I usually dance by copying the choreography from korean girl or boy band and from international choreographer. One of my favorite choreographer is Matt Stevanina. Other than that, i also love to dance to my hometown traditional dance, which is Balinese dance. By singing, watching movies or TV series, and dancing, I can enjoy my leisure time really nice and fun without getting disturb by the feeling of boredom.